Final part; notes at bottom. Enjoy! -Lianne (liannesentar@hotmail.com) http://Lianne_Sentar.tripod.com Fraternity Days Part 4 (finale) Rated PG-13 for some adult content and a touch of language **This story is filled with things no one should do, with consequences not always clearly portrayed. Don't do any of it! Mamoru paced back and forth, his red hood over his disheveled raven hair, his hands cupped over his huffing mouth, his eyes closed, his body trembling. The less he thought about things, the better off he was. He just had to move. Move, move so he wouldn't freeze, move so he wouldn't think, move so he wouldn't strangle the life out of the college junior who stood nearby and shouted up at the students at the rim of the rocky pit. "You don't have a rope or anything?" "There's nothing in the car. Koushiro just had it vacuumed so it's cleaned out." "What about a blanket?" "Nothing, Taichi!" Mamoru gritted his chattering teeth. He wouldn't listen to them. He wouldn't. He was better off moving. Moving, moving, moving. "And the car's *busted*?" "Hitting that little dip messed something up. I can't even start the engine!" "How many times did you try?" "Taichi, I'm telling you, it's useless!" Mamoru's cupped hands tightened. His knuckles turned white. "Then call for HELP, you morons!" Yagami's voice raised half a pitch. "Use one of your cells! We need someone to come and get us out of here!" "The cells aren't working here; we're too deep in the mountains." "THEN GO SOMEWHERE WHERE THEY WORK!" The frat boys went dead silent. They glanced at each other, glanced back at the cold, glaring Yagami, then nodded. "Don't worry!" one of the seniors called, holding up his cell phone. "We'll go by foot until it works. Hang on!" The three students vanished from the rim of the pit. There were a few moments of calls, curses, and pounding footsteps, then nothing. The wind blew quietly in their absence. Yagami slowly turned to Mamoru. Yagami was silent, his violet eyes focused on the pacing underclassman, his anger of a moment before completely gone. Mamoru paced, and didn't look at him. "Hey." Mamoru kept his eyes closed. "Hey." Yagami's voice was unreadable. He lifted one arm and held out his hand, palm-up. "C'mere." Mamoru squeezed his eyes shut tighter. "Mamoru-kun-" "Shut up." Mamoru had started shaking harder, but he couldn't stop it. His steps grew jerkier. "I don't wanna hear it." Yagami let out a breath. "Look," he said. "Just c'mere. I won't-" "No." Mamoru didn't unclench his teeth. "Don't get near me." "But I-" "Don't get NEAR me!" Mamoru's sudden scream echoed through the rocky pit. The reverberations were high, haunting. They bounced off Yagami as they died. For many long moments, neither youth spoke. Mamoru wiped his running nose on a sleeve and blinked his watery eyes. Stones crunched under his sneakers. Violet eyes followed him, back and forth. Back and forth. Mamoru sneezed. "C'mere, Mamoru." "I'll haunt you," was all Mamoru hissed. "If I die, I'll haunt you for the rest of your life." Nothing more. Yagami turned away and lowered his arm. Mamoru sneezed again. ********************** It had been too long. Mamoru didn't have a watch, and he refused to ask to look at Yagami's, but he still knew it had been too long. He still paced, but he couldn't feel anything anymore. His shaking was uncontrollable and violent. Yagami was dressed for the weather, his thick coat insulating him a thousand times better than Mamoru's thin hoody. He was standing nearby, walking in slow circles, shaking somewhat, wiping his nose, kicking tiny rocks with his boots. Sneezing. He was continuously looking up to watch Mamoru, and Mamoru knew, and Mamoru didn't care. Every few minutes Yagami would try to approach him, and every time Mamoru wouldn't let Yagami near him. Mamoru knew it was stupid. Mamoru knew he was being dangerously foolish refusing help, but he couldn't take it any longer. He'd had it. He was so fed up with Yagami, so *furious* that Yagami had led them to this, that he couldn't stand the idea of accepting help. He hated Yagami with more passion than he ever hated anyone. find me ... And the voice now, too. He was going insane now, too, to top it all off. He could feel his life slipping away from him bit by freezing bit, and he knew hearing voices was a sign of that, but he didn't care. He was too filled with blind hatred to care. He was killing himself. He knew that. help ... Silver light. Mamoru pressed his hard, chapped lips together and continued to meet his demise with pessimistic indifference. Silver light. Silver light. come to me ... He hardly noticed when his knees buckled and he fell. ********************** help ... Silver light and heavy fog. It made it hard to breathe. The fog was cold. He coughed and gripped his arms and squeezed his eyes shut against the silver light. find it ... He started to cough. There was an ache in his chest that gnawed at him, and he wasn't sure what it was. He'd never had an ache like that before. find it ... He started coughing uncontrollably. The fog was too cold, too thick. It filled up his lungs. He fell and coughed and trembled. He couldn't stop shaking. come to me ... look at me ... Too cold. He couldn't stop shaking. look at me ... Couldn't stop shaking. open your eyes ... ********************** "Open your eyes!" "OPEN YOUR EYES!" Mamoru was vaguely aware of something hitting his cheeks and knocking his head back and forth. He could hardly feel it, and it didn't hurt. But there was yelling. He distinctly heard yelling, though the sound came slower than it was supposed to. "Mamoru, don't fall asleep! You have to stay awake!" The sound was so slow. His vision was blurry, but he barely made out two shining points of violet. That and some blurry moving shapes. "Mamoru, COME ON! WAKE UP!" He could hear every word, but he didn't recognize the voice. It was too contorted. Something suddenly pressed up against his torso. He had the odd sensation that something was lifting his arms. That something was being pulled up from his waist. "STAY AWAKE!" That thing pressing against him felt odd. Tingly. It tingled in a way that stung a bit, felt weird, but he was pretty sure wasn't hurting him. "STAY AWAKE, MAMORU!" But he didn't want to stay awake. There was something odd about the tingling. Like he would regret it later. His eyelids drooped. ********************** come and find me ... The voice wasn't contorted. In fact, it was beautiful. Too beautiful. And it hurt to listen to. find it ... His heart ached. The voice wouldn't stop. He thought he had closed his eyes, but he still saw silver light and heavy fog. They filled his eyes and his mouth and his lungs. open your eyes ... Couldn't breathe. Couldn't feel. Silver light and heavy fog and coughing and shaking and tingling and tingling and yelling and slapping and tingling and yelling and yelling and yelling. open your eyes ... Tingling. Yelling. come and find me ... open your eyes ... open your eyes ... "OPEN YOUR EYES!" A fist crashed into his cheek. Mamoru's eyes shot open as he stared, stunned, into glassy violet. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. Yagami slapped Mamoru's face. "Don't you dare close your eyes again!" he shouted. "If you fall asleep you may never wake up!" The air in Mamoru's lungs burst out of his mouth suddenly, like a dam's breaking. He blinked his eyes. That tingling. Tingling. He blinked his eyes again. He was nestled in a crag in the pit's rocky wall. Yagami, squashed up against him, had his big arms wrapped so tightly around Mamoru that Mamoru's ribcage could hardly move in and out with his breathing. Yagami's large winter coat was tightly tucked around the two of them. The odd tingling, the very faint realization of warmth, was due to the fact that both Mamoru and Yagami's shirts were lifted up and their bare torso's were pressed against each other. The horror that suddenly washed over Mamoru was so overwhelming that he jerked violently in an instinctal move to escape. His brain was still functioning at a slow rate, and he hadn't quite thought about the current state of his failing body, but seeing his bare skin pressed against Yagami's set every numb nerve in him screaming. He fought. He fought and he fought and he fought and he fought as warm tears brimmed in his ocean eyes. "Stop it! Stop it, Mamoru!" Yagami's arms tightened around the freshman as he pressed his cheek against Mamoru's. "Stop! It's ok!" Tears filled Mamoru's world as his body jerked and writhed. He couldn't remember what had happened or what was wrong with him. He still heard that beautiful voice in his ears and his still saw silver light peeking from behind Yagami. Mamoru fought. He was filled with hate and confusion and disgust and fear. Fear. He didn't know why he was afraid, but he was more scared than he had ever been in his life. "Stop *fighting* me, Mamoru!" Yagami's arms tightened further. "You're freezing to death! You need my body heat!" Mamoru sobbed. He was shaking uncontrollably, and Yagami, his cheeks flushed and his teeth chattering, was shaking against him. Warm tears rolled against the numb skin of Mamoru's cheeks as he buried his face in Yagami's silken hair and cried his eyes out. He didn't know why he was crying. He didn't know why he was scared. But he was. God, he was. And still he heard that beautiful voice, as his heart ached and his body shook and his tears fell, as familiar shouts suddenly came from the rim of the rocky pit and cried that help had arrived. He didn't hear any of it. He didn't know anything else. Just tears, just pain, just that voice. Her voice. *Her* voice. find me ... ********************** "Mamoru!" White light. White light peeking through the crack in his eyelids. He lifted those lids, just a bit, and let in the light. It burned. He snapped his eyes shut again. He could hear crying. He could barely feel someone holding his hand, cupping it tightly with shaking palms. He could smell sterilization and hear muffled voices and tiny wheels squeaking against tiled floors. He could hear Motoki. "Oh my God ... oh my God, Mamoru, I'm so sorry ..." He could feel himself fading out again. Motoki's voice grew softer, *her* voice grew louder, and the silver light started up inside his closed eyelids. He fell back into the fog. find me ... ********************* ********************* ********************* ********************* ********************* ********************* ********************* ********************* Kyoto's Owikawa hospital was quiet that night. The lights in the hallway glared as always and hospital staff bustled even in the earliest hours, but, thankfully, there were no emergencies that Sunday and things remained relatively calm; or, at least, as calm as a night in a filled hospital could be. Motoki had hardly slept in the several days he'd spent by Mamoru's bedside. He was pale and thin to the point of looking terribly sick, and nurses had needed to take him away to eat and sleep more than once. He had taken to jumping at the slightest sound, getting teary-eyed when he least expected it, and running his hands through his hair so often it was permanently disheveled. He sat beside Mamoru, he walked around Mamoru's bed, he paced the hallways, he went in search of the doctor for a progress report, he crouched in the corner of Mamoru's room. Mamoru had drifted in and out of consciousness many times, but he never stayed awake for more than a minute and never acknowledged Motoki's presence. So Motoki cried a lot, too, particularly those times Mamoru fell back asleep and Motoki didn't know when he'd next see his best friend crack open his eyes. But Yagami had slept even less. And he hadn't moved from the chair outside Mamoru's room. He had needed only one day of treatment, and since then, he hadn't moved from that chair. Motoki stepped out of Mamoru's room, gently closing the door behind him. "So." He set his jaw. "You haven't left yet." Yagami didn't look up. "No," he said evenly. Motoki ran the back of a hand over his eyes. "He hasn't woken up properly," he murmured. "The doctor told me he should've yesterday." Yagami said nothing. Motoki swallowed hard. His green eyes grew glassy, his teeth clenching behind his trembling lips. "Hey!" he snarled. "Don't you have something clever to say? Like how this is toughening him up, or how things that don't kill you make you stronger? Right? Something like that?" Yagami said nothing. "We TOLD you!" Motoki suddenly grabbed Yagami's shirt. Shakily, but furiously, he shook the much bigger student. "We told you we didn't want to do any of this! We told you over and over that we didn't want to play your games!" He hiccupped and shook Yagami harder. Yagami was hardly rocked in his chair. "Is this what it takes for you to stop picking on people?" Motoki cried. "Someone dying? Do you have to keep pushing it until you KILL someone?!" Yagami said nothing. Motoki let go. Tears had brimmed in his eyes, and he angrily wiped them away. "Are you gonna stop now?" Motoki clenched his teeth. "Or does this change nothing? Maybe next year you'll do it all over. You'll abuse some other kid over and over until he dies of exhaustion or freezes to death or something. Right. Yeah." Motoki cursed. "Mamoru's not gonna die, so you'll keep pushing it." Yagami didn't move. His violet eyes stared, unwaveringly, unreadably, at the floor. "No," he said at last. Motoki snorted. He turned away. Mamoru's door opened. Both Motoki and Yagami jerked their heads around at the same time. There, leaning exhaustedly in the doorway, stood Mamoru. "Mamoru!" Motoki caught Mamoru as he fell. The two collapsed to the ground, Motoki's shaking arms tight around his best friend. "Mamoru!" he cried. "You're awake?!" "...kyo." Mamoru's eyes were closed, and he weakly and very unsuccessfully tried to push from Motoki's hold. "...o. Gotta ... go. Gotta go." Yagami slowly got to his knees beside them. Mamoru's eyelids cracked open, and, suddenly, he met eyes with the junior. Mamoru humphed. "Yo," Yagami said carefully. "Are you ... awake?" Mamoru scowled. He may've still been hazy, but there was plenty of his everyday down-to-earthness in that scowl to convince anyone he wasn't just in a half-wakened dream state. "Are you stupid," he murmured, "or just rude? What's it look like?" Motoki waved his hand in front of Mamoru's face. Mamoru pushed the hand aside, mumbling that it made him dizzy. "You're ok." Motoki rested his chin on Mamoru's shoulder and hugged the raven-haired youth tightly. "Oh, God, Mamoru, you're really ok!" Mamoru groaned. "Motoki," he mumbled. "Not so tight." Motoki giggled weakly, though he didn't let go. Yagami looked to the floor. It was a long moment before he spoke. "I'm glad you're all right," he said quietly, at last. "You should be," Mamoru muttered. Yagami didn't look up. "I don't ask forgiveness," he said lowly. "I know I'll never deserve it. And I won't offer anything, because I know you won't accept it." Mamoru took a heavy breath; or, at least, attempted to, but Motoki's squeezing arms kept his ribcage firmly in place. He let the breath out with a grimace of pain. "Whatever," he said. "I heard you and Motoki talking. You said you'll stop, so I don't care anymore." Yagami was silent. "I almost killed you." His voice was very, very quiet. Mamoru snorted. "And you got us half naked and pressed up against each other. If you're anything like me, you'd rather face a wrathful ghost than do something as horrific as that." He made a weak shrug. "You kept me alive. That counts for something." Yagami said nothing. "Anyway," Mamoru said, prying Motoki's fingers from his shoulders, "I've decided to go to Tokyo. You transferred in from another university, right? If you help me with the paperwork, consider yourself forgiven." "What?" Both Yagami and Motoki looked at Mamoru, their eyes wide. It took a moment for Motoki to find words. "Did ... did you just say ... Tokyo?" he asked, surprised. "You wanna go to Tokyo University?" "No." Mamoru looked away. "I *have* to go to Tokyo University." Motoki stared at him a moment. The blond waved his hand in front of Mamoru's face. Mamoru pushed the hand away. "I *told* you, I'm awake." Yagami frowned. "Why Tokyo all of a sudden?" he asked. "You never showed interest before." "Don't ask." Mamoru rubbed his eyes. "Motoki, you said you were planning to transfer with Reika because she could get good archeological connections in Tokyo, right? We can go next semester." Motoki scratched his head. "Well, yeah, but ..." Mamoru's look made the words die in Motoki's throat. Motoki swallowed. "Um, yeah," he said shakily. "Sure." Yagami reached into his pocket for his cell. "I'll help your with the paperwork and all if you really want. I mean, it's outta the blue, but ... whatever it is you want." He quickly dialed and held the phone to his ear. Something odd crawled through his eyes as he looked to Mamoru. "But, y'know, we'll miss you if you go." Mamoru made a disgusted face. "No one to piss off as successfully." Yagami smiled, slightly. "Well, I was thinking more along the lines of no one to help us with physics, but yeah. That, too." Mamoru shot him a warning look. "No more games. You'd better've meant that." Yagami held up a hand defensively. "I meant it, I meant it. No more bars, no more clothing hunting in sub-arctic weather." He looked to the ceiling. "I do think I'll keep up with the soccer thing, though," he murmured. That was pretty funny." Mamoru snarled. Yagami laughed. A voice suddenly buzzed from Yagami's cell. "Yeah," he said into it. "It's me. Get over here, Chiba woke up." "Who's that?" "The frat." He raised an eyebrow at Mamoru. "They were here for three days to watch over you. They were really worried." He turned his attention back to the phone. "What? Yeah. Come right over." Mamoru and Motoki exchanged looks. "Right. Yeah. Fine." Yagami grinned into the phone. "Yeah, bring beer." Motoki shrieked. He dove on Yagami. Mamoru slumped against the doorframe as the skinny freshman and the huge junior fought over the cell phone, Motoki yelling indignantly and Yagami smiling wickedly and counting out the liters to be brought. Mamoru sighed, and closed his eyes. find me ... Whatever. He didn't know what, or who, or why. A bunch of hallucinations probably didn't mean anything if you had them once or they disappeared when you closed your eyes. But having them so often, hurting so much when you saw them - well, that counted for something. find me ... Mamoru sighed. Even with his eyes closed he saw silver light and heavy fog, and that sad girl with her long, blond hair. find it ... His chest ached. He sighed again. Whatever. At least he knew where to start. The End -As always, sorry if it was no good. I was originally hoping to give Usagi more of a role in this story, but it's 2 a.m. and I'm late with this part anyway. -_-; Thanks to all who wrote in after last part to say they were enjoying this fic. I appreciate you making me feel better. ^_^ My next fanfic, "Blue Planet, White Moon," will be an old-school Prince Endymion/Princess Serenity love story; because heck, I haven't done that yet, and every romance fic author's had her hand at writing the original love story so I might as well jump on the bandwagon. Generals/senshi romance will be in it, but I don't think it'll get much focus (though the generals will get rather big parts). Story starts in July. Hope to see you there! And thanks for reading this to the end. Domo. -Lianne (liannesentar@hotmail.com) http://Lianne_Sentar.tripod.com *Sailor Moon and all its characters copyright © Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha Ltd./Toei Animation, Co., Ltd. This story part copyright © Lianne Sentar, June 2001.