Stuff at bottom. Thanks! -Lianne (liannesentar@hotmail.com) http://Lianne_Sentar.tripod.com *Blue Planet, White Moon* Part 6 Rated PG, alcohol=badbadbad, romance and violence and general content and a tiny bit of language, although some of the more adult concepts may go over younger readers' heads He wasn't going to cry. He was no longer a child. Every passing day took him further into puberty, further from those days of carefree afternoons and lazy fireside evenings in his mother's arms. There *was* nothing to be carefree about any more. His mother rarely held him. The disapproving gaze of his father always burned in his back, even when the man wasn't present. The public's disapproval of Endymion's recklessness was becoming more and more of an issue. Nephlite, who used to make quiet lifestyle-improvement suggestions, had recently needed to pull Endymion many times into a quiet room, sit the prince down, and straightforwardly tell Endymion he was embarrassing many, many people with the way he acted. So he was an idiot. He knew that. Hell, he couldn't forget, what with his father's unending stream of yelling fits. Every time his attitude got to his head and he did something *else* stupid and reckless, his father screamed at him. He was useless. He was a failure. He wasn't fit to be prince of the Earth. He was forbidden from returning to the moon. As Endymion shoved his dirty, torn uniform into his bag, he blinked his eyes hard and tried to dismiss the heat from his face. He'd really screwed up this time. Breaking things in the palace or getting caught wrestling with a stable boy were nothing compared to this. If the Earth and moon's friendship crumbled? His fault. If the Earth kingdom, unable to plead for help from the other planets, was defeated by attacking warriors? His fault. A lump raised in his throat, and his vision blurred. He wondered which of the friendly palace guards he knew had been killed that afternoon. He felt Malachite slip into the room behind him. The prince didn't turn; he strapped his bag closed and dropped it onto the floor. Bending to pull his boots onto his feet, he said, "It wasn't an accident, if that's what you were going to ask." Silence. He could feel Malachite's eyes lock, and blood rushed in Endymion's ears. He blinked his blurry eyes, and, with a shaking voice, added, "I knew what I was drinking. It wasn't an accident." Silence. Endymion hiccuped, and felt tears spill from his eyes and roll down his hot cheeks. He ignored them, angry, but unable to stop them. "I was jealous. And embarrassed. And ashamed. And *angry*. I was so full of hate that I figured being destructive didn't matter." Silence. Endymion suddenly screeched and whipped around, his tears flying from his cheeks and glittering in the dark air of the room. "Say something!" he screamed at the general by the door. "Say it! Say how I really ruined EVERYTHING this time!" Malachite's expression was unreadable. He didn't move. "I don't need to say that," he said after a moment. "Why not, huh? Think I can't take it? Are you trying to shelter me?" Endymion didn't bother to wipe the tears that streamed down his face. "Tell me honestly, Malachite. Are you more concerned with my improvement, or do you just want me to feel better? Why don't you yell at me like father does? You, more than anyone, know what I did today!" Malachite shook his head. "I don't think yelling at you is the way to help you improve." "But slapping me is?" Malachite's ice eyes went cold. "Because you crossed the line." "What line? WHAT LINE?!" Endymion stomped, furious. "I don't understand you! Sometimes it's punishment, sometimes prayers, sometimes a kiss. Why don't you ever scream at me?! Why don't you ever get mad like father does?!" Malachite was silent. Endymion fell to his knees, crying hard. His mind spun as hot guilt tightened around his heart. He couldn't believe it. After all he had done, after all he had ruined, here he was, doing it again. *What's wrong with me?!* He didn't hear Malachite walk up. He didn't hear Malachite get to his knees beside him, push the bag out of the way. He knew he didn't deserve to be held then--really, didn't deserve to be held ever again--but he wanted it so badly that he pushed himself against Malachite's chest and threw his arms around Malachite's neck. He could feel the cool skin of Malachite's chin against his temple. "I don't deserve you," Endymion sobbed. Malachite brushed his lips against the midnight head. "Maybe not," he answered, quietly. "But that makes no difference." Endymion cried harder. "What've I done?!" he sobbed. "Oh, God, Malachite, what've I *done*?!" *************** Serenity was terribly shaken. As if seeing the king of Earth's screeching reprimands of Endymion hadn't been terrifying enough, hearing the screams from Endymion's room after Malachite had gone in had struck her deeply. Curled on her bed, shivering, she hugged her lace pillow tight against her chest. That fear she had had many months before, that fear of that violent, *primal* Earthian nature, welled up inside her again. *I really know nothing.* Serenity bit her lip. Her fingers buried into lace. *God, I really know nothing about Earth.* There was a light tapping on her door. Shaking her head quickly, she took a moment to swallow, put aside her pillow, and swing her legs over her bedside. "You may enter," she called quietly as she stood. The door creaked open, and Venus' face appeared. "Do you have a second?" she asked. "Nephlite's here to speak with you." Serenity blinked. She straightened her skirts and cleared her throat. "He may enter." Venus opened the door fully, allowing the tall general to enter the room. Venus followed and closed the door behind them. Nephlite bowed. "Princess." Serenity curtsied. "General Nephlite. Is there something I may help you with?" Nephlite glanced at Venus, then turned back to the moon princess. "I think you'd better sit down," he told her. Serenity's heart sank to her stomach. Feeling nauseous, she carefully lowered herself to sit on her bed. "Y-yes?" she croaked. Nephlite looked to the ground a moment, as if deciding where to begin. After a brief hesitation, he f inally said, "Malachite told me you've been overhearing what's been going on over the past hour. That you heard what the king was saying." Venus frowned. "You know," she muttered, "with the way he was screaming, I think the entire *moon* heard what the king was saying." "Endymion is leaving in a few minutes. His generals will accompany him. In accordance with the king's order, Endymion will not be returning." Serenity swallowed. Truthfully, she could feel a horrible depression sucking at her insides, but she knew it wasn't the time to submit to it. Later, when she had some time alone, she would let it run itself out. She could feel a lot of crying coming on. Nephlite must have sensed her feelings, because he lowered himself to his knees before her and took her hands. "Princess," he said quietly, "I'd like you to listen to me a moment. I know you're upset right now, but there's something very important you need to know about Prince Endymion. All right?" Serenity swallowed again. Her vision blurred a bit, and she noticed that her heart was beating a little faster, but she bit her teeth together behind her lips and nodded. She gave him all her attention. "You just turned twelve, am I correct?" She nodded. "Endymion will be fifteen in a month. He, like you, is slowly becoming an adult in both mind and body." He paused. "Unlike you, though, he's not traveling through this stage very smoothly." Venus sighed. "You've been around girls most of your life, Serenity," she explained. "You've never been so close to a developing boy before. Some of them go through very violent attitude changes, and this can equate to them doing very reckless things. Not to say that this doesn't happen to some girls as well, but, generally speaking, a boy going through a bad adolescence can be a lot more dangerous than a girl suffering in the same way." "Endymion has never fit the role of prince very well." Nephlite's gloved fingers ran over the back of Serenity's hands. "We still hope that he's growing into it, but he's clearly not doing so at the rate most demand. There's been a lot of stress on him, particularly now that he's older, and he doesn't often react to it very well." Serenity blinked the tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she murmured, "but may I ask why you're telling me all of this?" Nephlite lowered his head slightly, though his gaze stayed locked with her own. "I'm not trying to excuse Endymion's behavior. Some of the things he does, particularly what he did today, are wrong. He knows that; he hates what he does, and he sometimes hates himself. He's adjusting to his position and his changing body and hopes to one day be the king he and everyone else needs." He shook his head. "But despite the fact that he sometimes loses control, he's a good person. His heart is far purer than most people, including himself, realize. One day that will become clear." Serenity hiccuped. A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Endymion is upset right now, so it wouldn't be the best time to see him, but no one wants you two to separate with bad feelings. Endymion very much enjoys your company. If he ever frightened you, or made you lose faith in him, I'm hear to apologize on his behalf." Serenity sniffed and rubbed away her tear. "Frightened, maybe," she whispered. "But I never lost faith." Nephlite lips twitched slightly, not quite in a smile, but fairly close. "We'll keep up a correspondence between you two. Should things settle, perhaps Endymion's punishment will be lifted." That reminded her. Serenity cleared her throat and wiped her cheek once more. "Yes," she began, "I wanted to ask about that. About the ... attack." Venus and Nephlite glanced at each other. "Nobody's sure yet," Venus murmured. "All we know is what you heard. It wasn't a large-scale attack, so it may not be anything serious, but ... everyone feels like it is." Serenity paled. "Don't worry, Princess. We have a very strong kingdom." Nephlite gave her hands a gentle squeeze and stood. "We're returning now to help deal with it in the king's absence. In a few days, once the festivities have ended, the king will also return to Earth." Nephlite bowed to Serenity, then to Venus, then made his way to the door. Before she could even realize what she was doing, Serenity jumped from her bed and ran after. She gripped the sleeve of his elbow. "Wait!" Nephlite turned his head to look down at her. Serenity paled even further, but she forced her throat clear and tightened her trembling fingers. "T-tell him something for me," she breathed. "Please?" Nephlite's expression didn't change, so she swallowed and went on. "Tell him I ..." She bit her lip. "I ... tell him I ..." Venus raised an eyebrow. Serenity shakily released the general. "... I'll miss him." "Of course." Bowing his head once more, Nephlite exited the room, closing the door behind him. Serenity began to cry. She buried her face in her hands and crumpled to her knees, her thin frame shaking erratically. Venus frowned. "It ... it was so *nice* ... this afternoon," Serenity sobbed. Venus gently ran a hand over the top of her princess' head. "It doesn't take long for things to crumble," she said quietly. "Be strong, Serenity." Serenity's fingers ran through her streams of tears. "Poor Endymion," she sobbed. "God, he must be taking this so hard." Venus let out a breath. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "Probably," she agreed. *************** The door to the infirmary creaked open. Serenity pushed her eye against the crack, scanning carefully for anyone in the long, white room. A lone, dark figure on a bed was the only occupant. She slid through the door and silently closed it behind her. She couldn't run to him--she just, for whatever reason, couldn't-- so she walked, slowly, her heart twittering in her chest more rapidly with every approaching step. He was ... half asleep, it looked like, though his eyes were fully closed. The drugs for his trip were still taking effect, and he hadn't quite reached the stable sleeping state desirable for his transport. She reached his bedside and gazed down at him. He looked horrible--disheveled, pale, and fitful. He moved around in his bed quite a bit, occasionally murmuring things, occasionally gripping the sheets with shaky fingers. The soft pearl lighting of the room lit up the streaks of dried tears on his cheeks. Serenity's vision blurred. Slowly, carefully, afraid he might break if she touched him, she let her fingertips brush against the silk of his midnight bangs. Her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. God ... despite how rugged, dark, and awkward he could be, his hair was one of the softest things she'd ever felt. "Endymion," she whispered. Her eyes filled with tears. "I wish all this had never happened ..." There's something to be said for foreboding. The idea that a human can sense danger before it arrives may seem foolish when viewed from afar, but far too many times has a sixth sense proven itself when sensing destruction. Serenity's life had always been relatively displaced from fighting and violence--a sheltered princess, a young girl, she performed duties safer and more suitable for her age and position. Yet when she looked down at that prince, she knew, knew better than she *wished* she knew, that death settled dark and thick on his young shoulders. Venus was right. The incoming destruction could be *felt*. Serenity hiccuped. "Endymion," she breathed, "good-bye." To be continued .... -Pshaw. Short, and no development yet. *grr* Sorry, things will actually start happening next part, promise. I'm as much sick of interludes as all of you. Part 7 will be up for Valentine's Day (Feb 14), 2002. Sorry for the long wait, but there is much to be done before then. Oh yes, much to be done ... *rubs hands* Check out http://Lianne_Sentar.tripod.com/updates.html for more info. Thanks! -Lianne (liannesentar@hotmail.com) http://Lianne_Sentar.tripod.com *Sailor Moon and all its characters copyright © Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha Ltd./Toei Animation, Co., Ltd. This story part copyright © Lianne Sentar, December 2001.